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An Open Letter to Elissa from Susyn Reeve

whole-hearted-life

Elissa,

Since your cleanse and the world of delicious, healthy, food information and recipes you have on your site are such a vital part of my life,  I want to share how The journey continues. . .

On May 23, 2014 I began Elissa Goodman’s 21-day cleanse.  While she is masterful in her wisdom about nutrition and what she has learned in the 22 years since she was healed and cured of cancer – weight loss for me was a cancer in my mind.  Up until I began the cleanse there was a daily battle, feeding a larger war of me not loving my body – how I look – my personal self image and how I imagined others viewed me.

Today is October 3, 2014 and I have continued a plant based way of eating (the word diet, carries too many associations of past battles. . . and when I was successful in battle, the war still raged).  I have made delicious meals since May 23.  With the help of my dear friend, Josie, we invited 11 people over for a plant based meal. . . the roasted broccoli, cauliflower & chick peas with a lemon tahini dressing and the lemon lavender cheese cake with coconut milk whipped cream were a great success along with the soup, pasta, salad and snacks that I made. . . I wanted to go into the vegan cheese cake business!

By September 30, 2014 I had released 31 lbs.  I was feeling great in my body, knowing that I looked and felt beautiful.  I was dating – after years of being single I wanted a man in my life again… and there were times this past summer that it was raining men.  I felt beautiful, sexy, sensuous in my body – my body mind spirit all seemed to be in a graceful/grateful dance. Life was a well-oiled creation (now that I was consistently using the good oils!)  I’ve been here before – and I discovered that the possibility of self-sabotage is very high here (when things are going well and there’s been a history of feeling unworthy/inadequate or any version of I’m not enough).

“Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate.
Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure.
It is our light not our darkness that most frightens us.”  -Marianne Williamson

Allowing my light to shine brightly, to truly step into being a GodMother Elder and allowing my brilliance to shine was scary for me…so I binged on sugar – dark chocolate almonds (I admit, that as I wrote dark chocolate almonds my mouth watered).  Not 1 or 2 almonds coated with yummy dark chocolate, but a real binge – maybe 20???  I don’t know, I didn’t count, I was busy promising myself that the current handful would be my last handful!

When I woke up on Wednesday, I felt hung over – in a fog.  I felt awful.  Maybe I wouldn’t have felt this if I hadn’t over-dosed, binged, but I did.  Today, 3 days since I ate all that sugar, it still has a  a hold on me – my mind, activating my taste buds and I image all of this orchestrated by the chemical appearance of processed white sugar .  While there have been a multitude of times in my life when I have felt I was in a sugar coma. . . the way I felt on Wednesday was as though I was in a trance.  So my sweet tooth is clearly alive.  I went out and bought some dates and put them in the cupboard and for now, I am sugar free and feeling good.

What also has happened, is that I have fallen in love with my new book, The Wholehearted Life, that is being launched on 11/11 so I have some shining to do since I wrote this book as a Love Letter to its’ readers.

Click Here to Listen to my On Purpose Show Conversation with Elissa 

Susyn Reeve – www.SusynReeve.com

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