The holidays used to be very hard for me. It didn’t make sense, because I would be in a room filled with lots of friends and family and I still felt lonely. 🙁
It took me years to discover the reason was because I didn’t know how to really love myself or others.
For most of my life, I thought l had to buy, bargain and trade love like a commodity. I defined my love with material things. I felt starved for affection and acceptance. I was attracted to others that felt the same way so life felt empty and unfulfilling.
When I became sick, I knew deep within my heart that it was more than genetics and lifestyle that led me to that place. My instincts told me it was partly because I never truly loved or accepted myself. I didn’t know how to, yet all I wanted was to have meaningful connections and true love. I knew I needed love to live and I really needed it to be healthy.
Until we recognize and acknowledge that, we can never be fulfilled.
How do you begin the process of self-love, healing, and fulfillment when all you’ve learned about love is wrong?
Taking responsibility for your feelings is huge. Anger, resentment, jealousy, fear, confusion, loneliness – those are all descriptors for a lack of self-love. I began to act with the intention of love, discovering the root causes for my pain, exploring through therapy all that formed me into the person I was. I explored my self-wounded side, my ego, my guilt, my shame, all those ugly feelings that came out of emptiness. I began to realize that love wasn’t doing, it was feeling (You can read more about the steps to self-love here: http://www.mindbodygreen.com/0-15295/how-do-you-actually-learn-to-love-yourself.html).
Once you begin to love yourself, things around you begin to fall into place. You don’t have to struggle as much. The world doesn’t feel like it’s out to get you. I now find calmness in being around people that love themselves and are okay with who they are. I feel safe. I feel accepted. I feel love. I also have a worth and a power that I never had without love in my life.
I have come to understand that power, success, fame, money, and material things can never feel a void and can never replace the need for love in your life. The most powerful thing we feel is love and feeling love for your self is selfless, not selfish.
Manifest love and show love with every fiber of your being. Love each other, love your children, love your family and your friends, accept those who come into your life with love. With that will come everything else you need.
Make time and effort to be present. Make this time one to connect with those you love, this is when meaningful moments happen. And, most importantly, give love. It is the most priceless gift you can give or receive and all I wish for you.